I like this … everything in here is a core tenant of being able to love [many] …
In a grown-up relationship there will be no hidden agenda, game playing, control or manipulation. All the cards will be laid out so there is no need for guesswork or trying to read minds. Conversation flows freely whether it is about trivial subjects or deep and intense emotions—nothing is off limits.
A relationship that is an adult one totally understands that the two people involved in it will not offer all that they need. Just like with food, there are a variety of things we need to fully nourish our bodies—and it is the same with our minds. Although this does not mean that monogamy needs to be tested, it does mean that accepting that individual friendships, hobbies and interests are essential to keeping ourselves healthy and our hearts full.
Ignore the mono / poly … this is the basis of a healthy long term relationship, poly just takes it a step farther.
When we compromise ourselves and sacrifice doing the things we love for the sake of our relationship we also turn off a light within ourselves.
Love shouldn’t be sacrifice…that’s called manipulation, in which a situation is “created” that someone feels they should not do or do something.
It is totally possible to live fully and love fully without one other person having the huge responsibility of being the person who meets all our needs. It is almost impossible for two people to be everything to one another whilst still providing everything for themselves.
The most amazing thing about a grown-up relationship is that there are no expectations placed on one another. Each day is there to be lived without having any pressure on it to be anything other than real.
Every moment within this type of relationship is a bonus—so whether it lasts a day or a lifetime, it will be a relationship that each party chooses on a conscious level daily.
A grown-up relationship is not one of convenience or one to reach personal gain. It will exist to create memories, to share the journey of life together, to adventure as a team and to explore one another’s bodies and minds.
This so much … that last paragraph … poly isn’t a stand in till a real relationship comes or a means to boink your way through the universe. If it’s used that way, it has to be done honestly, where all parties know entering in – “this is just fun”.