Explosive conflict

I don’t want this misconstrued as anyone should try and work things out with an abusive person (man or woman).

I found this article awhile back, every now and then I read it and fall in love with the story again.

I hate the explosive or pervasively angry fights.  I am told most people with my medical diagnosis, also have issues when they feel accused of anything.  For me, without hard facts, I am not able to see enough to recognize that this is a situation where I need to meet someone half way.  This is different than normal for me.  I am told the emotional logic in situations, especially for females is different – like when you break down a conflict and both people state they were acting out of hurt.  I believe some of it is the gender stereo type of females as the peace makers in the family.  I definitely see many, many couples where both parties play the crap games of doing things – both little and large – to hurt each other.

For me, I have had to be the one to calm and control the situations in most of my relationships.  My memory tells me, that I must be perfect in regards to making a safe environment…of course that has to be false.  I do feel that, in making sure I do not overly express my frustrations and angry explosively, many of the women I have dealt with have seen it as weakness – as they are not afraid the way they would have been with other men.  It comes out in their trying to use explosive emoting to get what they want.  I unconditionally end the relationship if my girlfriend yells at me.  It is a pretty clear sign that they have a different value and idea of what a relationship entails.  It is tough to respect a person who lets them self get out of control.  I want a woman who values and respects the discipline and effort I put in to the relationship.  The explosive conflict means she is does not respect me, she takes me for granted or she is not my equal in self-discipline.

Back on track though, the article, where a woman writes on how she calmed herself and then the situation with her significant other … which is pretty amazing.

Note:  If this guy had been abusive, it could have gone horribly wrong.  If anyone hits you, ever.  Get out.

With that said, the story of one woman … remarkable, because it is so rare:

Note:  I do not agree with many things on this woman’s blog, especially the promotion of game playing and reverse psychology (Like, “when I withdraw, you need to chase me” or “When a woman yells and screams, you need to be unemotional”), but this particular article is good.

Cut that shit out.


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